Moving a Parent

DECEMBER 2016

“….some poems don’t rhyme,
and some stories don’t have a clear
beginning, middle and end. Life is
about not knowing, having to change,
taking the moment and making the
best of it, without knowing what’s
going to happen next. Delicious
Ambiguity.“

– Gilda Radner

Moving Dad

My beloved mother-in-law passed away in October – the first of our 4 parents to leave us and the first grandparent to leave our children. As so many of you already know, it’s a very painful process and we’re slowly trying to get back to routines, but there are many moments of sadness and longing for her physical presence in our lives.

Shortly after she passed, we realized that my father-in-law, married for 66 years to his beautiful bride, was the one most deeply affected by this loss. It became apparent that living alone was not going to be in his best interest. Imagine our surprise when days after we took him to visit an independent living community, he told us he was ready to move. When asked “When?” he replied, “Now is good.” We sprang into action and made it happen very quickly. I am happy to report that he is settled and doing very well in his new home, making new friends and choosing between many fun activities each day and night.

Here are a few tips and tricks to make this type of move as easy as possible for your family:

1. We visited 3 places on our own and then returned with my father in law to the one we felt was the best fit. (Many people have told us how lucky we are to have such an ‘easy’ dad… and we are!).

2. Once you sign the lease and have your occupancy date, call a mover to confirm Moving Day.

3. Decide what is needed at the new place.

Furniture decisions first. We wanted Dad to feel like the new place was a mini-version of his home with Mom, so we used only furniture that was familiar to him, including pictures and lamps and knick-knacks.
Realize that with just one person, they can do very well with less stuff – i.e.: we packed 4 place settings instead of the full set which he would never use. NOTE: It is easier and less overwhelming to choose what you want to take rather than sorting through all of their life’s possessions prior to the move.

4. Get boxes, paper, bubble wrap and get started packing up the necessities. If you need help with this piece of the move, Aim 4 Order is happy to do this for you.

5. If possible, keep the former residence for a month just in case there are items that are later needed at the new place. Having the option to revisit decisions is comforting.

6. Set an end date of when you want the former residence emptied. Many families have a difficult time finishing up this part of the process… if you aren’t making headway, call Aim 4 Order – we can wrap up things quickly and painlessly. The basic task is to make decisions on what is donated, sold or trashed and arrange for people to carry out your wishes.

7. Make plans for your parent on Moving Day so they don’t have to be involved in the stress of moving day. They can arrive after everything is unpacked and put away. Another benefit of packing light is that everything can be unpacked pretty quickly, day of!

8. Have a calendar handy in the new place to write down the activities that are available for your parent… there’s so much information given that it can be overwhelming. Having someone dissect the information and write it out in plan simple language can make the transition a lot smoother.

9. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done. And get back to work!

“Helping Baby Boomers and their Parents Lighten their Loads.”

If you are feeling overwhelmed by the amount of stuff in your home, contact me. Together, we can transform your home into a happy, tidy place where you can feel at peace. We can also get you ready for your next move… more enjoyable, faster and easier!